Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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