fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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