take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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