Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize