Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
