miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
