Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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