I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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