u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Someone shit on the floor
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
