he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
