So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
