Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
