He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
