And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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