somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
