shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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