i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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