do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
