I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
