I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
