I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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