She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize