the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
