when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
