another moral hangover. fuck.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
