And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
