I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
