erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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