If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
