Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
