I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
