did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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