i would punch a child for taco bell
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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