I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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