yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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