I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
