How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
