your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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