who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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