i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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