Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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