Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
