Im at strip club and am horny
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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