I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize