i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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