yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
