It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
