not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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