What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
