You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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