Will you blow on my dice?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
