Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
