Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
