I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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