You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
