All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
