I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize