Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
