dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
