I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
