so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
