Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
